HOME(LESS)
Open Mic Night (at my house…)
After the Friday night show at the Albuquerque Laffs I had my first of what I believe will be many unexpected comedy performances. The group of people hanging out after the show wanted to know if I was really homeless. So I pulled the Suburu around to give them a glimpse of how I’m livin.
I heard someone say “Wow, you really are homeless.” While another shouted “You should have a microphone haha!” Really? Well guess what genius… I do! Just the day before I bought a microphone so that in an emergency situation I could set up on any street corner and be terribly unfunny for money. The hope at least would be to make people feel sorry enough for me that they will part with a few bucks or even better yet adopt me. “Oh, its so cute… You still have dreams. Well good luck comedy boy! I know it’s not much but here’s a dollar and a razor blade in case reality sets in.”
So I got out, set up the micropone and got back into my house.
I started the set off like every set with a standing ovation. Then proceeded to realize just how wierd this whole experience is going to be. There I sat leaning out of my window talking into a unpowered mic. “Tonight the mic stand is for aesthetic purposes only. I’m homeless, bla, blah, blah, blah…” And that pretty much all I said. Two sentences, done.
I did find out that one of the girls has a rating scale for homeless people. She uses it to determine whether or not she gives them anything. It’s a scale from 1-10 based on how poor they really look. If their clothes are too clean or they look recently showered she thinks they are probably running a scam. If you score like me, because you used deodorant that day, and get under a 7 you get nothing. BUT if you score score better than 8, she carries around a box of granola bars just for such an occasion. Needless to say I went hungry that night.
“Too bad I can’t eat your awkward laughter and blank stares. Thanks for coming out. Goonight!”
September 24th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
I though you were hilarious man
September 26th, 2007 at 9:03 pm
Dude!! That second photo of you leaning out of your car window with a mic is phuhknee mang!! And the people on each side of you!! Funny as hell!!!