HOME(LESS)
The OklaHOMIE (OR) I got hustled
I have never before been in the state of Oklahoma. In Tulsa I encountered some things that made me feel right at home though. For example, my daddy’s favorite gas station
that made me giggle. They could have spelled it the right way not the way I spell it when I’m having text message sex phone sex.
The praying hands at the entrance to Oral Roberts University. (A Christian University)
if you can’t read it the caption below the “Oral Roberts University” it says “Educating the whole man.” Yeah…? The whole man? The WHOLE man, really? With just his hands? I highly doubt your kids are abstinent! I was so disappointed to learn that Oral was a man.
And last but not least, straight from the blood bank, my man Lincoln (to whom this post is dedicated)
Lincoln saw the “homelesscomic.com” sign in my window and felt compelled to approached me. He said, “hey thats pretty funny, you mind if I relate to you for a minute?” Relate? Now since this is all new to me and I have not grasped the range of potential reactions so I wasn’t completely welcoming at first. I shielded my apprehension with a “haha, oh you mean the homeless thing? Yeah… it’s an experiment I’m working on as a comedian…” and a smile. I felt ok talking to him in the Starbucks parking lot. But when he asked for a ride to Wal-Mart, I’ll admit I got a little nervous. A twinge of guilt came over me, like how many homeless people do you know with a website? I felt inclined to help…
Lincoln: Hey can you give me a ride to Wal-Mart down the street?
Brian: Do you plan on hurting me in any way?
Lincoln: No, man! Come on, I’m wearing Vans!
Of course, I forgot Van’s on your feet is a universal sign of safety.
During our conversation on our way to the Wal, Lincoln told me that he was from Atlanta. He had married a girl named Carrie there and when they came back to Tulsa he found out that her parents were racist. Apparently Carrie failed to mention to her parents that her husband was (insert PC terminology here) and Lincoln was forced onto the street with nothing. I have no way of knowing if this story is true but I gave Lincoln the benefit of the doubt. After all he did tell me he was a Christian and recited a poem for me to prove it.
We arrived safely at Wal-Mart where Lincoln said he was planning to stay because it is open 24/7. I asked him if there was anything I could get for him. I offered him a Human Society t-shirt which he gladly accepted and quickly changed into. He said, “I need $20 for the shelter.” and assured me it wasn’t for booze or drugs. I told him that I could probably do that but only in return for something to document our encounter. “All I have is my state of mind man, I can give you a poem.” DEAL!
Since I was running late and had to get to the club for my show he didn’t have enough time to write it, so I just took a video of Lincoln reciting his Christian poem. It’s pretty good too.
The next morning I woke up thinking about Lincoln and his situation. “Hey wait a minute… you don’t need $20 to get into a shelter! Son of biatch!” Oh well… I’m not trying to save the world. My meeting with Lincoln made 2 hobo’s happy that night. He got $20 I got a poem and a story.
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:43 am
SO he took $20, a T-shirt, and a ride to Wal-mart. Dude, he had just given blood (or plasma) too- check out his bandage- so sounds to me like he’s not doing to bad. Now you know how he can afford his Vans. HAPPY TRAVELS!
October 13th, 2007 at 8:50 pm
the real leaning tower is, of course, in Washington D.C. - otherwise, your information is quite correct. where can I get a t-shirt?