HOME(LESS)
Random, road weary, comic bits and a video for you to enjoy
Coffee shops have become my home during the day. Today I was given the gift of lavender by a French woman standing in front of me in line as I waited for my triple shot americano. So I did something very gay and took a picture of it…
Who am I to turn down any gifts these days? According to the nice gray haired lady, “it iz Onlee z finesst LAVenduh impo-ted frUM Fronss” ya dig? I thought it was sweet and quickly put the French lavender to my face and let the delicious aroma tantalize my olfactory sense but only to quickly cover up the smell of the generous but stereotypically stinky old French lady.
Random I know but… Did I mention? I cleaned my house!! I modified it and made it sleep ready…
The back of car has never been so comfortable. Ladies…?
I get bored and lonely on the road. I find myself driving for hours on end listening to music and audiobooks but keep getting interrupted by myself. I want to talk all the loving time.
Oh, and by the way I will from now on I will, as much as possible be replacing the word fuck with the word love, a different 4 letter word with similar connotations but a little less sting. It is so much easier to say “fuck you” than “I love you”. Not that there isn’t an appropriate time to say fuck, like when you’re listening to the N.W.A. classic “Fuck the Police”. Just think about this the next time you feel anger and want to scream “FUCK!” try replacing it with “LOVE!” Not as angry anymore? Good!
Sorry… see what I mean about the interruptions?
I need to perform. It’s like an obsession these days. Thats how comics get better they tell their jokes in front of as many different audiences as possible. Shitty open mic after shitty open mic, show after show, or sometimes you just need to say them out loud in front of anyone (or anything) that will listen. I’m no comic genius and hate puns as much as the next comedian but sometimes its the only way to get the locals pumped up! And believe me they loved me!!!
How many bales of hay does it take to change a light bulb? Doesn’t matter, hay bale jokes are hack!
Can you tell I slept in my car the night before? My hair’s all loved up and greasy…
Hay shows are a good place to start but I need more, something bigger, like a rock concert! Somewhere between one middle of nowhere and lost on the interstate my dream came true. My first rock concert…
Not a bad crowd. I didn’t land every joke and they were especially unamused by the “you rock” pun. As with every show I walked away a little stronger. My comedy is not for everything/body whatever… I had to start somewhere, today bales of hay, tomorrow random rock formations, next week a show with Stanhope? Awww SHIT!!!!
October 13th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
ROFLMAO!!!!
Bri U RoCk!!!!
October 14th, 2007 at 1:53 am
Looks like you are slaying the crowd still. We are waiting for you to come back through ABQ! Hope all is well -B
October 18th, 2007 at 9:36 pm
hey how is my neck of the woods up there in new england. I would tell you where exactly im from but I dont want you begging my family for shit.
October 20th, 2007 at 12:09 pm
You’re rocking and haying around in your comedy. Keep looking for warm bodies to present your comedy to.