HOME(LESS)
$12 burger, Goblin Cock (not gobblin’ cock)
July 5th, 2009Well I won’t say the gayest thing I’ve ever done is see a restaurant on the Food Network and hunt it down in Chicago, the gayest thing I’ve ever done is let my gf put her finger in my butt, which isn’t really gay at all if its being done to you by a girl. If you think that it is gay you are really just a homophobe and cutting yourself off from the best orgasm of your life… anyway I digress…
The 2nd gayest thing I’ve ever done is see a restaurant on the Food Network and hunt it down in Chicago, which is what I did when I saw Kumas Corner. GODDAMN 10oz. burgers on pretzel rolls, my god this place is AWESOME!!! Check out my video!!! Nevermind the shifty eyes, I still get nervous in front of myself sometimes.
Titanic Comedy: Made Of Steel And Irony
June 28th, 2009Where have I been? What have I been doing? WORKING! Yes, I may be “homeless” but that doesn’t mean that I don’t have to get it straight and do a little honest work every now and then. Regardless I am still pretty lucky.
If you are one of the four people that follow me you will remember I was in LA for a minute and went broke and couldn’t find a job and on my way back to Arizona to sleep on my moms floor AGAIN I got my car impounded and thought I had lost everything and that my life was over and I was going to quit comedy and give up the experiment in life as the “homeless comic”… Face it, I didn’t set out on this thing to end up homeless for real. I wanted to inspire others to find a way to do what they love to do AND I failed, so fuck it… blobbity blah blah blah!
Then a magical craigslist ad appeared and I took it as a sign that I should keep going.
Since then I have found the perfect job! I am traveling with a marketing tour at least until August maybe until November if things go according to plan. I am traveling with a mobile Titanic museum. If you know my sense of humor and you get the irony of it this is a perfect fit. This “sunken ship” literally saved my life! If I wouldn’t have found this job I would be back to lying every morning to people about how wonderful it was to make them coffee…
So my experiment is not a failure after all! It has always been about finding a way to make this life work and now I have a “day job” that I travel with. I get to hit the different comedy scenes around the country and make connections and continue to evolve my craft. I have really managed to create a lifestyle for myself.
Comedy may not be my full time occupation yet but dreams don’t come true overnight or maybe not in the course of almost two years. However as circumstances allow it I will keep going until I’m all out of ideas and inspiration.
Thanks for following my on my journey this far! I still feel like it is just the beginning! Comedy is under appreciated as an art form and true comics develop differently overtime. For those of us who love comedy it is amazing to watch our favorite artists evolve.
Check out what Patton Oswalt had to say about it in this clip I pirated from The Comedians Of Comedy:
I kept the clip short so nobody gets mad and sues me for piracy 
If you haven’t seen this film you are missing out!
Comedians Of Comedy - Patton on comic development
www.minorspace.com TODAY!!!!
June 1st, 2009Just wanted to share this with everyone. NO its not barely legal porn (sounds like it could be…) Naw this guy Brant Minor is a friend I made on the road and he’s got some crazy ideas. He just wants to help make peoples dreams come true including his own but his only comes true if yours do… get it!?! He’s not trying to change the world just the way we think about it. I like the way he thinks! We all have dreams and with them can change reality!!! Watch the vid and then check out www.minorspace.com!
Noc Noc NOT Knock Knock
May 27th, 2009Noc Noc! Who’s there? Transvestites, vampires, and 80’s night. Transvestites, vampires, and 80’s night who? Well this isn’t a joke, last week my friends and I went to the Noc Noc downtown Seattle for a phenomenal 80’s night and well…
My friend, we’ll call him Toe Jam, had been drinkin since 5 o’clock that day. Needless to say he was well intoxicated when we met him at the club at 11. The Noc Noc is a great Seattle night club that caters to the cities gothic community. This becomes apparent when you see the life size gargoyle statue with glowing red eyes hanging above the bar. If you don’t get it already the Noc is short for Nocturnal… needless to say that the people that make up the atmosphere here are a wide variety of creatures of the night. I will leave it to your imagination as to what kinds of people that might be, but just know what ever you are imagining, it probably already exists there. Think Fast Times at Ridgemont High meets The Lost Boys peppered with a little Less Than Zero. 80’s movies anyone?
Anyway, my friend goes to take a piss and at the sink complains to the “guy” next to him that he has a headache. Well of course this nice “gentleman” hearing his plight offered him something to take the edge off that apparently that looked like aspirin.
Toe Jam: What is this?
“guy”: take it, it will make your headache go away.
(Toe Jam takes the little pill)
“guy”: it’s ecstasy…
Now granted I wasn’t present for the conversation, I am just recounting it for you coming from my friend after he came out of the bathroom saying “Hey I think I just took ecstacy.” The same friend that a half hour later was found in the booth saying “Feel this table. Doesn’t this table feel amazing?” I was entertained for the rest of the night!
When is the last time you had a friend grab your hat and start licking it because it feels like bunny’s? Jealous…?
road trippin
May 15th, 2009life on the road is good. GREAT really. Right now I’m sitting in Salem, OR on pull out couch bed in a Residence Inn. Not too shabby, I mean camping is great (connecting with Mother Nature and all) but a bed feels good every once in a while.
First stop Brookings, OR after a nice nap on the side of the road… Got a nice state campsite for $17 equipped with showers and everything. I have no problem shaving my balls in public shower. If my hair plugs the drain I don’t have to deal with it or make up some excuse to my friend as to why their shower can only be a bathtub.
Raccoons like granola! Those bandits will eat anything, or maybe they are the original hippies. Luckily they didn’t get into the Cup-o-Noodles, not that their claws couldn’t get into the styrofoam cup but even raccoons know that shit will kill you. They are stupid creatures but not suicidal. Live and learn, now i am the proud owner of a dollar store tupperware to keep all of my hippie food fresh!
Daily Diet:
morning = granola w/ soy mild
afternoon = pb & j’s
night time = meat roll ups (sort of like fruit roll ups but with meat… I inveted them myself and they are delicious)
and on special occasions we put peanut butter on our s’mores and pretend we are the first people to do that shit ever!
Lincoln City, OR is where we stopped next. Nothing exciting there. Kinda shitty weather, camped out by a swampy marsh and listened to animals kill each other through the night. It was a full moon too I was kind of hoping for some crazy shit like hearing human screams and watching bloody campers mall each other to escape werewolf’s blood thirsty rampage. A boy can dream can’t he?
3 days in Portland were dope. Hung out with my friend Brant and hung out in his new executive downtown office soon to be the headquarters of www.minorspace.com. Hit up an open mic @ a place called the Boiler Room thanks to my man Russell Parker. It’s hard to gauge much about a city’s comedy scene in just one night at one open mic but IF I had to… yeah Portland comics have it pretty tough. Could have been just a touch open mic and everything else is gravy. Portland has some great comics, perhaps the tough open mics are more conducive to comedy growth.
Whatever the case Portland is a great city! Best food prices I’ve found yet. $5 can get you a pound of delicious pad thai at the Just Thai cart on 3rd & Burnside or steak bites and fries to go with you tittie dance at the Acropolis 
Now I sit in Salem looking forward to Seattle. Gotta work the Titanic gig this weekend then it is on to more fun and adventure…
catch ya on the next one! Pictures and videos coming soon…
